I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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