dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
