I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
