I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
