I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
