And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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