I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
