I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
