Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
