So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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