Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
