I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
