I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
