Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize