I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
