Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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