we have pet lesbian snakes
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it's like iHOP with fire
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
