It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.