I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
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hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
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So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
sex in a hospital.. check
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.