Sry I called you an 8
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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