Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
