so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
