you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
