been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
