Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
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You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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