is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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