do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
