you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
