bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
