But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
