So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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