He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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