peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
