Did you just see the Batmobile???
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
