I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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