she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Randomize
