I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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