I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
