Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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