Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
