just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it glows. i had to have it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Please don't give away my fajitas
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