I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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