dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
