So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I intend to get homeless drunk
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.