My Higher Power is John Stamos
he thought i was a dude.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!