Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...

Fav 18 1226 7768
share tweet
(339): View more from Massachusetts

i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall

Fav 38 22459 2958
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+33): View more from France

how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?

Fav 61 7389 1610
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.

Fav 16 4191 1246
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.

Fav 5 1537 1071
share tweet
(701): View more from North Dakota

He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

Fav 12 4878 1058
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(701): View more from North Dakota

They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.

Fav 2 1546 710
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.

Fav 7 1219 729
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(931): View more from Tennessee

I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.

Fav 0 613 393
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT