TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
