Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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