well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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