So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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