Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
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The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Let's get the cat blown out
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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