I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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