i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
