I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
