dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
