I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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