I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
