legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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