I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
