I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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