Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
