it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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