I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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