i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
