So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
