didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
