He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
