Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize