He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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