Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
