It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
