paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
